Dear Federal Government,

Thank you, in advance, for sending my money back to me.  It is, of course, unfortunate that you got to invest so much this past year when I could’ve been making my own interest on it, but I will be happy to have it back in my bank account. 

Consider this thank you note null and void if in two weeks there is not a significant direct deposit in my checking account.  I am taking into consideration the fact that you won’t look at my tax return until Valentines day simply because I itemize.  Fine.

I want you to know that I truly do appreciate all the amazing services you offer to us citizens on such a skimpy budget, however, it feels good to get my share back.

Sincerely, Kat