Dear Federal Government,
Thank you, in advance, for sending my money back to me. It is, of course, unfortunate that you got to invest so much this past year when I could’ve been making my own interest on it, but I will be happy to have it back in my bank account.
Consider this thank you note null and void if in two weeks there is not a significant direct deposit in my checking account. I am taking into consideration the fact that you won’t look at my tax return until Valentines day simply because I itemize. Fine.
I want you to know that I truly do appreciate all the amazing services you offer to us citizens on such a skimpy budget, however, it feels good to get my share back.